I am nostalgic, I love my existence.

Being cursed by your boss just like that old maths professor. Your son/daughter/nephew/niece’s photograph just like your old photograph. Your husband/wife/boy/girl friend’s unconditional care just like your grandpa/ma’s charm (this one’s rare). A song that pops up on your podcast; the one you danced/sang in your childhood. Spotting your ex-lover/enemy’s vehicle/house (that ex-lover has so much more :p), college/colleague’s reunion, reliving an old bad/worse habit, or for that matter revisiting a place after years — All of them create a parallel reference in your cranium, ‘an emotion’ as they call it, I’d rather prefer ‘a feeling’. The world stops for a moment and all you visualize is ME. I am a nostalgic moment.

There’s been this century-old debate on whether I am a preferable or an avoidable entity. Well, I feel everyone’s just wasted their time over this argument. Why? Because I arrive at my own purview. Let’s say I am divine. I’d bug you when I feel like it. I’d tweak the way you feel. I’d be your moment killer. I’d make you think. Well, not just think but also create a sustained impact on your thinking. Maybe it will change you forever — subconsciously. And this is inversely proportional to your mental strength. If you’re a sorted personality (in your head :p) — I’ll destroy you. If you’re a confused personality (again, in your head :p) — I’ll feed you with confusion. Technically, I am the only emotion that can break or make you, always, yet unknown to you. And all the above #Gyaan, mostly, would be a complete bouncer to you. Why? because you never ever thought about me!

Let’s say, no human ever said — “I hate nostalgia!”

From a dog lover who spots a breed he/she once owned to even the most powerful man on your planet, an Ex-POTUS, while he (Alas! No ‘she’ yet :p) passes by the White House would feel me. Now, the most vital thing here is what you feel next, like immediately after you feel me. Meaning, the moment you feel nostalgia followed by how you channelize your thoughts would literally define my utility. And what bugs me the most is humans often tend to be sad and emotionally agile followed by a wild swing into that ‘I miss this so much’ feel, in other words — SULK.

‘SULK’ — isn’t this a depressing word? Of course, you’d second me here. But in reality, we all SULK to a level we can’t imagine. I’ll say it again — SULK. Like S.U.L.K.

The reason why you read this word so many times is because you are totally virgin to the idea of how pathetic this emotional drug is and how it can spoil your moment/hour/minute/day/year/life. No matter if you had the best of me — you meet an old friend, visit your old city. The one cornered thought in your head would persistently say — ‘Shit! It was so good back then!’, in other words — SULK (sorry! Last time). Since you’ve experienced me, a neuron in your brain has R.I.P.ed and it would consistently create a snowball effect R.I.P.ing at multiple fronts. Literal meaning: A bad nostalgic moment is way better than a good nostalgic moment.

A bad nostalgic moment would make you sad for that moment. But it would never create an urge for you to create that moment again (Unless you’re Ranbir Kapoor from ‘Ae Dil Hai Mushkil’ — Amen!) which is still healthy. While, a good nostalgic moment would instantly create an urge for you to replicate that moment again because it made you happy at that moment and you strongly believe that it will make you happy again — which is so so so so so wrong!

Why?

Think about it this way — Imagine you happen to bump into or converse with your Ex-lover, 99% of the times you’d say — ‘Shit! I miss him/her’. 99% of the time you’d circulate a subtle to strong thought in your head — ‘Can we be together again?’

This thought my friend is the ‘WRONG’ I mentioned above. Because you’d start feeling every emotion associated with it failing to realize that situations and circumstances change every second (forget your timeframe of association). You can’t expect someone to be in the same emotional reference from your past. And if you expect this to be true, then please read the next blog on expectations coming week :p

Your world evolves every moment, so do you! And you can never ever ever ever EXACTLY replicate a situation/an equation — ever again. You ‘move on’ with life. The frequency with which you say this phrase ‘move on’ to yourself and others — just try imbibing it for real — once and your world would be such a happy place.

Anyways, Krishnakant’s promised me he’d just feel me (because he can’t avoid me, for that matter even you) and let it go! This bugger now understands how badly and subtly I can kill someone’s routine. And not just him, but even you should avoid taking me for granted.

After all, I am a nostalgic moment and I do not wish to love my existence.