I am lethargic, I love my existence.
Lying on the bed staring at the ceiling waiting for your body to push up and brush your teeth. Standing by the corner of your gym after a 10-min run thinking about those 3x20 push-up sets that are on the list. Buried like a sack on your office desk staring at the excel report that needs an additional ‘X’ hours of work. Entering a departmental store and immediately turning your back looking at the billing counter queue. Those clothes that are lying in the laundry bag since last week. That couch which recreates the ‘SUV tires ripping the desert sand’ commercial effect when you jump/move on it. That guitar which houses a lizard and a cockroach alongside a one-inch dust layer waiting for your passion to rejuvenate. Those shoes demand a wipe and brush exercise. That TV screen has a natural sepia effect (thanks to the dirt). Your failure to walk across the street and buy ‘X’ but your happiness in acknowledging services that embrace you for the same.
You live by me. Wait! You swear by me. If ever you were judged/denounced/ criticized/blamed for something, I had some role for sure to land you there. At times, you’d accept my existence, you’d even describe me as one of your personality traits (lol :p), you think I am a simple phenomenon which is your temporary state of mind and you might just get away with it but honestly, I can re-shape your entire life (99% times — a negative shift) and you can’t really imagine the importance of that word ‘re-shape’ here. Why? Because you don’t value my occurrence.
Very often you confuse me with boredom. This certainly builds angst in my head bro! Boredom is a state of brain drain; when you don’t feel the urge to pursue an activity, be it just thinking. I am more to do with your inability to activate your brain to pursue a mandated activity. I am that thin line between defining your personality and what it could be.
In this fast-paced human world, my existence gets most of you tagged as ‘ordinary’ as compared to those who are called ‘extraordinary’ or ‘brilliant’.While the above statement might be words of wisdom you’ve come across for the Nth time. My question to you is simple — ‘When you know something’s pulling you down, how are you so okay to live with it?’
Now, basis the humans that I live with, there might be 10000000000000000 reasons to justify the above question. Human situations, consequences, reasons blah blah blah would all be raised and spoken about. But an unsaid reply to all your answers would still remain the same, “You’re an ordinary human being!”. And don’t get me wrong or take this personally. In fact, even if you do, you’d still pursue me directly/indirectly in the next hour/day/week/month FOR SURE.
Think about the ‘extraordinary’ ones now. Beyond that special brain they own, beyond a highly cliched term called ‘passion’ they own, beyond that unmatched ‘willpower’, they understand the importance of me and how effectively they avoid me in every situation. I mean I am sick of trying to touch base in their lives. Every moment, I’d be around them to embrace me, but I am so surprised by their talent to not just shun me off but also make me feel immaterial. Always :(
But again, these are the same set of species that literally run your world. The one’s in-charge of every institution. Your superiors, your bosses, your leaders, everyone that understand the importance of being indispensable with their work and intimidating as a character. They hold a position of authority because they try and ‘live in every moment’.
Read this phrase again — ‘Live in every moment’. Might sound like an alcoholic beverage or a protein bar tagline. But if you just understand the girth of this line, you’d realize this is the most ineffective way to be amongst those ‘extra-ordinary’ ones. I don’t know if they would be in line with me but I can vouch for sure that this is their success mantra. I mean think about it the other way around. Out of all the sequences in those first lines, if you push yourself a little further. Like, JUST A LITTLE FURTHER, you’d be a virgin to the idea of my existence. All it takes is that ‘little push’ to avoid me while you feel me the most. A little motivation is all that will flip a situation in specific and your life in general. If you get what I mean — Like you’ve not picked your guitar for ages and the next moment you pick it and rehearse a chord. An additional set in your weight training that you’ve been avoiding would help you smile when you look at yourself in the mirror. Like beyond just staring at that excel sheet reports, if you could find insights by analyzing this data.
I know all this sounds very theoretical. But trust me, just follow it once, just once, and your life changes overnight. That one little motivation to pursue something exactly when you don’t feel like pursuing it. Try it, Krishnakant’s been trying this really hard now. But I see him doing far better than when he first started. You should too, right?
After all, I am lethargic and I do not wish to love my existence.
