I am an abusive word, I love my existence.
From describing weird sexual orientations to various permutation combinations of partners, from the obscured detailing of your parental origin to cursing your existence, from describing your genitals to aligning them with incest, from defining human defecation in varied forms to enabling your imagination to consume the same. I own the variety, the diversity, and that linguistic barrier. I am part of you since generations, a subtle part of your day-to-day lingo. You’re happy or sad, I’d come so naturally to you. I am an abusive word.
My usage pattern stands comparatively different for each one of you. Some say it with ease, some with shame. Some of you have me as your name (chutiya, gandu, et cetera), or a tag of remembrance (woh chutiya, woh gandu, et cetera).
At times I am taken aback by guilt when some of you own me as you breathe. It’s difficult to say how they literally orient the world around them basis genitals (lavdu, gandu, et cetera) failing to understand that when you actually deliver me, I am never delivered as an alma mater or an earthly element to that concerned person. It’s something that comes out of your tongue and remains within your soul, keeping you wide open to be judged by the receiver (Depending on your relationship with that person).
Let’s per say think how was I born?
The Indian forms to gaali have their origin from Persian and Arabic languages. Words like madar and the eagerness of a man to penetrate into a man are per say a strength showcase. There is no specific year in history that says — I was born. It’s just the usage which was evolved with time and reshaped as your planet evolved their civilization.
Ancient history hardly traces my usage. In fact, it was more about cursing their own fate or luck, but cursing someone else’s was unheard. It is in the late 20th century that I saw my renaissance period. But hardly anyone tries to evaluate a study or thesis on me to boost or stop by usage.
I totally understand this, Why would you deny/diminish me?
Humans have their brain programmed to think, to analyze in an instant and react to multiple instances. Do you realize how important that word ‘react’ stands here?
I mean you love throwing reactions. Even the most introvert person has a threshold value to his ‘being introvert’. It’s common sense, right? Whenever you’re compelled to analyze beyond what you can actually analyze, you’re bound to showcase a reaction. Something that is delivered through your senses. Five of them you own, but you just use one — your mouth. Because you feel the need for those reactions receiving competent acknowledgment and you can’t get them unless delivered in its full sense. Also, those reactions need to be delivered with a medium of offense. Something that tells a person — you’re wrong and I am right. And just to get that attention your reactions are delivered with earthly human references which you hate or which stands clićhed for you. That’s how you’d give attention to the abuser.
P.S.: My usage is all about two words — reaction and attention. Period.
Now let’s talk about how a person on the receiving end perceives me. Think about this — I (an abuse) was used to address you. What would be your instant reaction? Not happy for sure. If you’re happy when you’re tagged with me, you need immediate medical attention (In that ideal world). An ideal person stands embarrassed, angry, hurt, frustrated blah blah post my association. My question is — why would you? When I do no physical harm to you? Like when somebody calls you a chutiya, are you a chutiya? No, right?
It’s that social stigma that loosens up your neurons to feel subjugated. Then you build your perception, your judgments, your thinking along the same lines — in short — you think the F*** (one of your favorite me) out about that person (i.e if you're sensitive).
Here, I genuinely fail to advise if you’re doing the right thing or the wrong. To me, the person who uses me to deliver their reaction a.k.a. gain your attention is as stupid (your another favorite me) as the person who stands affected on the receiving front.
My point of view here is absolutely not about why you use me but about what is it that changes in your life when you use me?
Technically — nothing!
Have you heard of this line — Everything changes but nothing changes?
This exactly stands true to my existence. I mean why would you exasperate yourself in using me or prolifically standing on the receivers end, offended. I can’t be evicted overnight but I surely can be reprioritized, scaling down my importance.
I am just surprised by the count of me that Krishnakant hears it every day. Not that he’s a God’s man, virgin to me. He equally uses me as well. But he has promised to at least start avoiding whenever he thinks he can. This stands even for you. Stop taking me for granted.
After all, I am an abusive word and I do not wish to love my existence.