I am a frown face, I love my existence.

You won’t make it till eternity, you’re delayed by a leap year. Some commode skid mark sort of person-aligned 20 people to bitch about you. You demanded iPhone XBlah, they approved Nokia 3315. You saved to buy her a star, that other guy gifted her the sun. You’re 5 km away with a flat tyre for a 9 am meet and it’s 9.15 am. You went out drinking with 3 friends who’ve lost, forgot, went broke with their wallets respectively. You were promised a private beach in Ibiza, you end up at your nearest beach. And so on… Like everything from a scale of ‘Oh f*ck!’ to ‘terribly gone wrong’ helps you own me, a frown face.

By dictionary, a frown face is to disapprove of something or to make a face indicating disapproval by turning down the corners of your mouth and furrowing your brow. But that’s just a physical outward reaction, what happens inside is almost termed a collapse — of your neurons, your left brain, your hormones, basically your entire ‘thinking’ system goes south.

Is it a good thing to happen? You’d say what kinda question is that? All that fancy #gyaan about letting your emotions out is super important blah blah et cetera. But you fail to realize what really happens in that one simple moment when you frown. Let’s go step by step.

Physical damage: The first and the most common thing is the usage of energy. You technically use double the energy than when you smile. The act of frowning somehow comes from the gut (Try doing it), you literally feel your tummy being cramped. Then comes the all-important facial muscles. It starts with your lips dispositioned to their optimum capacity semi-circle. Immediately connected to your lips are your cheeks which get stretched like pizza dough before entering the oven. And the forehead that has to shrink the way it would look at your old age. Followed by the internal strain (I’ll come to that), and your face. Shit! Even if you have the cutest face that gets 100 likes per post with an Instagram filter, I make it look shit, almost like a chewed over chewing gum. And also, they say your skin takes shape to its persistent shape. Do you want your picture on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or shaadi.com (if eligible) to be that frowning one? Some people try this to resemble cuteness though.

Mental damage: Again, with the usage of energy, there is a dissipation of a certain hormone (don’t ask me what, I’m just assuming) that deactivates your adrenaline. The moment you frown at the length of its existence, you could feel the negative vibe reaching your body — inch by inch. And a li’l dermatologic theory says that if you stretch your skin for longer, it remains the same (I am bluffing, it’s my theory). And just to add a li’l more ambiguity to this theory, it also degrades the quality of your skin (again, bluff). Let’s not get into the conversation about feeling low. Your next 3 to 4 hours are surely f*cked. You cannot concentrate on what you’re supposed to do. You’d crave alcohol, Redbull, caffeine blah blah. It gets you demotivated. Yeah! I was searching for the right overhyped term. Gosh! ‘Demotivation’ it is!

However, there are merits to this act as well. Sadly, only when you were a kid. You were called cute when you made that face. You earn a chocolate bar, a toy, et cetera. And you were so flamboyant that frowning hardly affected you in any way.

Let’s assume frowning only remains valid to when you were a kid. And as you seek maturity, you start inculcating things, pursuing things in a very very serious way. Hence, it becomes a part of your life and just another method to earn a chocolate bar, a toy.

There is so much in the world that you can be happy about. 1. Your existence 2. That you validate your existence 3. That this validation helps you remain happy. Now, you can very well debate, happiness is just in theories, there is no pursuit of happiness that really exists, et cetera. But yo! Who says happiness is materialistic? The other way to look at it is avoiding disappointment. The lack of bad energy is also happiness. The lack of frowning can also lead to happiness? Maybe this is taking a leap of faith. But surely would be a great start.

C’mon! This bugger wrote an entire thesis based on his imagination for you to avoid me. Itna toh banta hai?

After all, I am a frown face and I do not wish to love my existence.