I am a diet food, I love my existence.
Cheese cake, Brownies, Onion rings, French fries (add cheese to it), Sprinkles, Cool whips, Sodas, Pizzas, Pastas, Burgers, Bacon, Sausages, Salad with 1000 sauce variants, Fresh pan cup cakes, Muffins, Smoothies, Ice cream (and all those variants), Sizzlers, Meatballs, Nachos, Hot dogs, Deli meats, Candies, Donuts, Jell-o, chocolates, Pani puri, Sev Puri, Dahi Puri, Geela Bhel, Vada Pav, Bhajiya, Samosa, Frankies, Aloo tikki, Aloo chaat, Bhalla, sorry Bhalle actually, Farsans, Dabheli, Dhokla, Khandvi et cetera…
Just take a moment and think how much of this have you consumed in your earthly existence?
After consuming all the above in abundance = at least 1000 kgs per human — you start thinking about me. There is this one day you think, “Enough is Enough” and you propel the thought to live with me, henceforth.
However, forget for a while how sincerely you’d pursue me, the reason you start my routine is 99.9% times towards damage control or towards the art of human imitation (Trends — as you know better)
“I feel I should follow a diet because ________”
Because I am obese, because I am suffering from XYZ, because I need to get married (this is subconsciously declared in your head, you won’t confess), because I feel lethargic, because I can’t see myself in the mirror anymore, because he/she follows it too!
A very few complete the above line stating — ‘because it’s normal and it will keep me healthy!’
Think about it! I am sure you know Newton’s third law? I am always a ‘reaction’ to an ‘action’, 99% times — not an amusing one though!
You’ve always wished to pursue a healthy way of living because you have this ideal version of you in your head! But that ‘wish’ feel is so detrimental that you don’t want to overpower your desire to consume your craving, that delicacy in one of those moments. You forget my existence and end up quenching your thirst. I’d say even that is fine until those moments occur again and again and again and again. Eventually leading to Newton baba’s learnings being embraced.
I have various kids — light, zero calories, low calorie, low fat, no fat, gluten-free and sugar-free. I have no freaking clue when & where were they born. It’s with time and human evolution of being unfit that these variations were added to my list. I wouldn’t be surprised if there are 10 more of them born tomorrow. Why should I be? These are my kids but they are born when one single perception and one single influential thought go out for a couple of dates. And I have absolutely no issue until my kids become commercial catalysts.
What makes me feel awkward is the way I am enabling people to earn a fortune with my tag. Every single eatery adds the word ‘Diet’ and thereby enables a few of my kids to exponential increase their business. I mean I am happy that people consume me and stay healthy. But again, this is more like prescribing a drug once you're ill. I’d rather wish if I was tagged as a way of living. Again, not everybody out there is without a clean conscience. Some of them really feel the way I see it but just a few days at the gym would rip you off? No, right?
Now, even if I am aboard the idea of commercializing me, another thought that really buzzes my cranium is — Do you really need me?
I’ve read a li’l about human anatomy, neurology, and cardiology. What seems interesting is any human body has a well-defined need for everything that you can consume. Anything in excess is bad!
Let me explain this better — A human body requires ‘X’ calories in a day. This ‘X’ is variable to your age, body morphology and current weight. Now, these ‘X’ calories can come from whatever you eat. Every single thing that gets into your body has a calorie value. If only you maintained the count of these calories over a sustained period of time, you’d never ever need me. Again these ‘X’ shouldn’t come from just one source. And let’s not get into the length and breadth of this science (carbs, fats, proteins et cetera). I repeat — anything in excess is bad but if you eat everything and maintain that calorie count, this wouldn’t be a bad start. Yes! It’d awesome if you followed me but what about the unfortunate ones? The ones who can’t afford me — monetarily or due to time restrictions. Imagine how did people in the olden times maintain diet? Or imagine how the ones living in villages with a fit body got one?
Another important aspect is a fancy word called ‘metabolism’. It’s narrated or mentioned in some or the other way when I am mentioned. What it means in English is how active your body is?
The calorie parameter I mentioned above goes hand-in-hand with your bodily activity. If you’re scheduled to be a furniture, your ‘calorie’ consumption should go down automatically (irrespective to what you eat). If you’re scheduled to be a road-runner, your consumption should go up. It’s that simple!
And these things I am sure ain’t rocket science or path-breaking scientific findings. You’ve been learning this since the day you called yourself — well informed. It’s just that you never took it seriously :p
Yes! I have a science that’s tagged with me. There are tonnes and tonnes of things that can be done in and around me. But, all I request/want out of you is to stay healthy. Enjoy everything you eat but keep a check on how much you can hog. This bugger Krishnakant’s lost 26 kgs in last 1 year (Yes! I wish to brag about him). He’s promised me to stay the way he is and so should you. Just avoid taking me for granted.
After all, I am a diet food and I do not wish to love my existence.
